Now that I have created my own diary (after several years of waiting) I am asking myself what direction I want to take this, and who am I writing it for. In the end, I guess I am really writing it for myself, because after all: it is my diary, and no one is going to care more about my life than myself.
So, dear reader, remember that. I may pretend like I am writing this blog for you and other readers to share some of my experiences, insight and humor that I gained along my path, but since most people care the most about themselves, naturally their interest in somebody else’s life- in this case, mine- is going to be far less than my own interest in myself. Sometimes, the act of setting down on paper my feelings helps me get a better eagle’s eye view of this magical, shared-reality here on Earth. However, I have no ulterior motives inviting you to share my journal other than to offer up my version of reality, in the hopes that I connect with a few of you who can appreciate my views, as you share yours with me , which you can do in the comments section of this blog.
And so, when each of us manifest here on Earth and incarnate as a newborn child, being born from a woman who was seeded by a man, we each may ask ourselves, “Was this my destiny to be born into my particular family and circumstances, or did I choose it out of my freewill? Is my life and fate determined by destiny or freewill?”
If it’s destiny, then why bother making decisions and choosing anything, right? Because destiny implies that no matter what choice you make, you will end up with a particular, pre-determined outcome. And if it is freewill, then why doesn’t everything you choose become reality? Life appears more as a blend, and maybe, the question should be written with “and” instead of “or”: destiny and freewill.
Destiny and freewill together may suggest that life is not really about choosing one extreme or another in a holographic construct of polarized opposites. Maybe life is a balancing act in a world of apparently incongruent, opposing forces, but only on the surface appearance. Maybe life is much deeper than choosing some friends over others, one country over all the other nations, bigger and deeper than choosing one religion, one way to have sex, one team to cheer for, and one truth to live by. Maybe the universe, or the multi-verse for that matter, is infinite enough to accommodate everything, and more.
One of the realizations that has been evolving in my mind over the decades is that there may be room for everything in this infinite multi-verse. Each individual person can have their own personal reality, their own subjective experiences and understandings that are in direct conflict with another person’s reality, and yet in the greater scheme of things, taking the eagle’s eye view of the multi-verse, there is room for all of these apparently opposing and contradictory realities. Maybe paradox is reality, or at least one reality of many.
Webster’s dictionary defines paradox as “a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense, and yet is perhaps true.” I feel that the place to resolve the paradox of destiny and freewill is right within one’s own heart. I’ve found that with meditation, then contemplation, then intention, and finally action, that I am more equipped and better served to travel joyfully through the paradox of life on Earth, and still remain in balance. Meditating suggests that I need to listen for a higher reality instead of letting my brain do all the talking; contemplation suggests that I need to both think and feel with my heart and my mind; intention suggests that I need to contemplate serving others as well as I serve myself; and action suggests that I need to walk my talk, and carry through by honoring everyone so that win-win scenarios are created. In this way, destiny, freewill and paradox are amalgamated into a balanced, multi-versal whole.
Not a black hole, or Alice’s rabbit hole, a donut hole or an a-hole, but a balanced whole.
And this is part of the purpose behind why I have created a public diary. Some of my experiences and reality is so far removed from what appears to be normal, ordinary human experience that I wish to reach out to others to see what benevolent connections we can make to each other’s realities.
I know this blog won’t be written for the millions, or the thousands, or maybe even the hundreds, but just for those few of you who may resonate with what I am going to begin sharing with you, and it is for both you and I that I write this blog and share my continuingly strange and wonderful journey.
And it would be just that much more wonderful if you would care to reply and comment to these articles if you feel so benevolently inspired. You would probably need to join WordPress.com for free to do this. I’m so new to all this at this point that I don’t know for sure. Otherwise, you can always write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. My best to each one of you that has taken the time to read up to here.